Over a year ago I drank Pepsi Blue for the first time. Tired of the Vanilla Coke craze that was currently sweeping through Westchester, I gave this new drink a chance. Paying the cashier in the Toys R Us at the Westchester pavilion, my stomach didn't feel at all peculiar.
And I drank that Pepsi Blue halfway through, before giving up on its akward taste and letting it rest on a shelf near the action figure section. As the friends I was with and I moved on throughout the mall, my stomach felt like it was about to explode. I could feel the juice inside me, turning over and over, making putrid squishing noises. When I could take it no more I ran up to the Borders Books bathroom with Evan Altnue and shit my ass off in the stall while he stood at the sink washing his hands and talking to me about money.
After unloading more than I ever had before into that toilet, we all got into Altnue's mother's car and began our drive home. By the time we reached Secor, I had to go again. I faked an illness and asked to be dropped off first. I filled up my basement toilet three more times that night. All liquid.
I blamed the Pepsi Blue, it's weird taste must have upset my stomach.
I forgot all about the large milkshake I had had at McDonalds hours earlier.
Skip ahead a few months and I'm walking through the halls of Ardsley High School, about 10 minutes before first period. Craving chocolate milk, I walk into the cafeteria and exiting with a cheap substitue, Strawberry milk. Nevertheless, it was enough to quench my thirst, and I drank it down before the bell rang.
And first period started. And I spent that period in the bathroom.
That was when it all clicked together, I was lactose intollerant. Duh.
Still, being the stubborn person that I was, I didn't start taking the pill until well into last summer. In fact, before I started taking the pill, I lost nearly 20 pounds as a result of my intollerance. No one could figure out why I was losing so much weight, and I was even tested for diabetes.
But, once I started taking the pill, and my nightly gastric attacks ceased, my rapid weight loss stopped.
So that's that, I'm here, I'm lactose intollerant, get used to it.